Attention: Susan, Berkley, Jill & Kate -
Ladies, I need your advice. You are all new mothers and I need some help. My sweet Marshall has started rebelling against sleep. He fights going to bed with all his might. He gets so irritable and fussy. I'll change him, feed him and try to comfort him as best I can and once he falls asleep I lay him in his crib. But every night without fail, he will wake up about 20 minutes after I've laid him down. I go in, I do not pick him up, but I'll give him his binky or let him have a little more milk from a bottle, then he'll doze off again. About 20 minutes later he will do the same thing! So after an hour of fighting it initially, and going in every 20 minutes atleast two or three times, he will finally go to bed. I am just exhausted!
When he's in the midst of the fight he doesn't want to be put down and every time I start to go to sleep once the fight is over, I hear him on the monitor and have to go in and calm him down. It's getting to be a huge joke and I don't know what to do.
Part of me just wants to kiss him on the forehead, lay him down after he's fed, changed and sleepy and be done with it; the other part is worried about being a bad parent and not "loving" my son enough. I feel like I'm doing something right by never picking him back up after he's in bed, but am I doing too much by going back in there? I don't know. What do you girls think? I'm open to any and all suggestions.
Super School News
10 years ago
5 comments:
Hey! I've been so bad at checking people's blogs lately, but I'm glad I looked at yours this morning. I totally know what you're going through! Bailey woke up constantly pretty much her whole life until we started sleep training. It was getting out of control, and I was a zombie all day. We finally started sleep training when she was about 4 1/2 months. Have you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? I read a couple sleep books, but that was the one I liked the best and chose to follow. According to that book, it's okay to start sleep training at four months--babies are ready for it. We put Bailey down to sleep, and we didn't go into her once she woke up and started crying. Well, she cried for about an hour, and then we went in to comfort her...just patted her belly and tried to comfort her without picking her up. Then she was alseep a few minutes later. We did this for a few nights until she learned how to comfort herself back to sleep. All babies (and adults) wake up during the night, but babies sometimes have a hard time getting to sleep. Bailey was waking up SO often for no reason at all. It was such a bad habit. It was so bad for her because she was getting a horrible night's sleep! It's important for them to have consolidated sleep. Anyway, personally, I would suggest putting him down to sleep, and then not going in to him again until your next feeding (I'm not sure if you're still feeding him at night). I only went to her around 12:00 and around 4:00 to feed her. They quickly learn to sleep better and stop forcing themselves awake to get your attention. This might sound cruel to some people, but I felt like it was the best thing we could have done for Bailey. She really needed it, and now she sleeps so well and is so happy. There's absolutely no research (as far as I know, and I've read a lot) that shows your child will feel abandoned or anything like that. I think every child is different. If you feel that Marshall needs this, then you should do it. But you need to feel confident about your decision, or else you'll probably give in to his crying. My sister is actually just starting sleep training with her son this week. She said he cried most of the first night (horrible), but the second night, he only cried for about 10 minutes! She's already seeing such great improvements.
Anyway, sorry this is so long. I just know how hard it is! Good luck whatever you decide to do. Keep us posted.
Okay Lauren, I know you didn't ask for my advice but I hope it's okay if I add... :} Don't worry, every baby goes through this "nonsleep" phase/habit. Marshall is just testing you! You are doing great by not giving in. Keep in up now while he's little before it's too late!! You are such a great mom!
wow I thought that I had posted a comment, but apparently it didn't work. I'll just refer to my post on your newest entry- baby lockdown with weather stripping and ear plugs
Sorry for my delay in response, but we still go thought issues of getting to sleep, but not that often. It may seem harsh, but stick with it because he's testing you. I think Berkley had a pretty good explaination for it, but we would just make sure Aubrey had her binky, dry diaper and would let her cry. It is sooooo hard and you feel horrible (even now Sam and I have a hard time with it), but it will be worth your sanity to deal with it early on! Even now I have to make sure not to pick her up, try to rub her back and let her fall asleep more on her own. Good luck!
Sorry we didn't get to hang out more during our visit. It was great to see all of you and we look forward to the next time we get to see you all!!
I don't know if I have any good advice, since Bernadette still isn't the best sleeper. My sister read "The Baby Whisperer," and she really liked it for her baby. Bernadette is pretty much too old for the book's advice now, but I think I might look at it for our second baby. Basically, though, I think you should just do what you feel is right for you and Marshall--every mother and baby are different. Sorry I don't have better advice--maybe you can give me some good advice after you get it figured out! I hope it starts to get better! It is so, so hard to have a non-sleeping baby!
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